That One Sick Girl

I am not sure where to begin with what went down today... I guess all I can really say is that I am tired of the way that my hospital works.  It feels like they're constantly playing games with my head and I can't take it anymore.  I don't feel real support coming from my doctors or nurses.  All I really feel is that a lot of them don't believe me and think that I'm making myself do this.  Trust me if I could eat like a normal person I would.  Quite honestly I hate living like this.  I LOVED food and my body image is pretty good if you ask me.  I think I am drop dead gorgeous!  Sorry that's a little arrogant but seriously I'm not that girl and I would appreciate not being treated as such.  Another big issue of the day is the lack of communication.... maybe I should just start from the top.  On April 17th I went in for a normal GI (Gastroenterology for those who don't know the term) appointment, and like most appointments at the end...

I usually try to be pretty light hearted with my posts but now is not one of those times.  I have something pretty serious on my mind tonight and have been searching for the words to say.  To start, I guess I just want to say that though I may seem happy on the outside there is a lot that I deal with on a day to day basis that makes me anything but happy.  My therapist and I... yes, I have a therapist and frankly I don't know how I would function without her. But anyway, my therapist and I have been discussing emotions a lot lately and it has been brought to my attention just how much I shove mine aside.  I have trained myself not to talk or think about how I may be feeling.  I want to change that if even just for a moment... Every week when I walk into therapy, the session starts off with the question of how things are going both physically and emotionally. My answer? "Fine." Just about everything that my therapist asks is answered similarly and if ...