The "A" Word
Growing up, I always felt a little bit different. I looked at myself as if I were another person; like I didn't really know myself. I was the outsider looking in. As I would stare at my reflection, I often found that I truly didn't understand who or why I was. Don't get me wrong, I was an active and relatively happy kid who was involved in as much as any other child: soccer, dance, gymnastics, volleyball... I just found myself to be emotionally distant from my peers when it came to getting along with them. Things seemed so easy for them in areas where I struggled everyday just to try and understand why they did silly things like smile for no reason in particular. I had friends, but I questioned whether or not they actually liked me. Were they just being nice because they felt bad for the socially awkward little girl? Were they just taking advantage of my loyalty and careful, mother-like tendencies. The anxiety was crippling. What could I do? I had no idea who I even was