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Showing posts from January, 2016

You, Lord, Make Me Brave

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Wow... I am almost lost for words when I think about all of the love and support being shown to me by complete strangers. Let me just say, I can definitely feel your prayers being lifted up to our Lord in Heaven, and, little by little, He is taking away my fears. As far as my health goes, I'm still in pretty bad shape. I drove back to college last night, and the pain in my hips and lower back is definitely worsened today. I'm hoping that will get better with time and rest.. We have yet to hear about my biopsy results, so I have no new news as far as treatment options and the official diagnosis of Behcet's Disease, but I'm hoping those results will come sooner rather than later. When they do come, the plan is to start a drug known as Remicade. This drug has to be infused, so I will most likely need a new central line put in, but, frankly, I'm okay with that because my veins are so tired. The simple act of drawing blood often takes 13+ sticks with no success. I am r

Underneath all of the Fear

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Admitting to fear has been difficult, but healing, in many, many ways.  It's come to a point in this crazy life of mine, where I have to completely rely on my faith in God. I just can't do it on my own anymore, and that is okay. I have been flaring for several months, and it's finally come to a point where I feel as if all I want to do is cry. I'm afraid for myself. I'm afraid for my life My pain is at an all time high, and I continue to gain new symptoms pretty regularly.  It's exhausting. In May I started getting vasculitis in all of my IV sites which caused blood clots.  I then needed to wear compression garments for several months. In addition, the new symptoms have brought forth a very frightening new diagnosis.  I must admit, though the diagnosis isn't yet official, I was almost brought to my knees in terror when I realized the seriousness with which things are headed.  We are 98% sure that my biopsy results will come back saying exactl