That One Sick Girl

As I sit here and think about all that I want to say in reference to the year 2015, I can't help but think it cliche to be writing about my year at all, but, fear not, I have my reasons. 2015 was a year of many firsts.  I had my first ambulance ride, my first ICU stay, and my first actual diagnosed blood clot.  I went into septic shock for the first time, and ran fevers for 5 consecutive days for the first time in my memory. Apart from medical firsts, I have also had a few life firsts during the year of 2015.   I moved away to live in a dorm for the first time, and I also drove across-state (to and from school) on my own. 2015 was a year of many hardships. My health began to rapidly decline around six months ago.  If you know me at all, you know that I have a chronic illness.  I have been sick my whole life, but I can usually manage pretty well from a pain standpoint.  My symptoms have gotten so bad that I sleep 90% of the time in an attempt to escape them.

When I lost my grandfather in August I wasn't aware of the legacy that he would leave me.  I hadn't had time to process all that he had taught me yet, and, what I did know about his life, I wanted to be selfish with. Grief struck hard.  It has taken everyday since the day that we lost him for my family to rebuild what my grandma affectionately refers to as the Nation.  We have had to learn to live with the hole that was left upon my grandfathers passing, and, though we will always ache for his return, everyday gets a little easier.  I think a lot of that is God's doing. After a lot of thought, and some beautiful words from my grandmother, I am ready to share about the legacy that I have you all wondering about. In faith always. What does this mean, you might ask? Well, it started out as a loving reminder between my grandparents to live for Jesus in everything that they do.  As you have probably guessed by now, it means so much more to me now than it ever did when Po