That One Sick Girl

I get it. I really do. I'm a teenage girl who can't hold down food. I must have an eating disorder, right? Wrong. For you to completely disregard anything I tell you based on your made up notions about me is absolutely disgusting to me. I am your patient, and I have done nothing but prove to you over and over that I am not faking my illness. Honestly, I don't see how I could fake the extensive medical history that I have. If you had ever listened to a word I said, you would know that this has been going on since I was a small child. This has gone on for far too long. You've been in charge of my care during every inpatient stay for the last three years. When does it end? I'm really tired of your games. I don't need your snide comments, and I really don't need the self-hate that fills my head every time I've been around you. Did you realize that you make me feel like I am crazy? I literally spend two weeks undoing what you did in just one week lo

It has been a while since I have shared my story, and given that it is Feeding Tube Awareness Week, I feel like now is the time to do so.  I'm not really sure how or where to start, so bear with me. As a baby, I was pretty puky to say the least.  My mom tells me stories about how I would vomit any time I would eat, and all the doctors would say is that all babies did that.  Of course, my mom didn't really believe that all babies projectile vomited every time they ate, but she was nineteen and just kept hearing that I was fine... she didn't know what else to do. Jump forward a year or two. While I was a toddler, maybe one or two, it was anything red.  If my mom even gave me a red apple I would throw it back up.  Then at three, it was always, "mommy my tummy hurts."  Every. Single. Day. That's when she first started taking me to doctors. Lets jump forward in time again. I'm in school now, and I'm always sick.  I remember missing countless field