Identity Theft, The Struggle is Real
Monday July 14 marked one year to the day that stopped tolerating any amount of food on my stomach. I have always had GI issues but I never imagined my life how it is today. If I'm honest with you and with myself I can only come to the conclusion that I have developed a patient identity. Patient identity may sound odd to those of you who don't deal with a life altering illness on a day to day basis so let me put it plainly. I don't know who I am anymore. I can tell anyone anything that they want to know about hospital life and TPN and physical pain but as soon as I'm asked how I feel about it on a mental level, all I can bring up is numbness. Unfortunately, I let myself become this way and lost any recognition of who I was a year ago in the process. My therapist and I call this the patient identity. I can't really begin to explain what this state of mind feels like... I don't know how. It's like I only focus on things as they are at face value