I'm Like an Open Book
Have you ever been told that you can't judge a book by it's cover? Yes? Then how can you judge me by mine? Tell me that.
I know that I have been focusing a lot on not looking like I feel, but this is important to me. It really bothers me when people tell me that I look good (meaning healthy), and it makes no sense to me that I am judged by how I appear. I know that the people who are saying how good I look mean it to be a compliment, but.. it's definitely not one.
Why can't you just ask me how I feel?
If you did ask, you would know a different story from the one you have made up in your head about me. You would see how hard I have to fight just to look half way decent in the mornings or to smile and be happy at any point in time.
This cause... this awareness week. It means so much more to warriors than just a chance to make our illnesses known to the general public. It gives us a chance to share our stories. It allows for you, the general public, to see the insides turned out.. to see the war raging from within.
Think of a time in your life when you were facing some sort of conflict. Were you able to hide that issue from the next door neighbor and act as if nothing was wrong? Good. Now think of being chronically ill in the same way. The only difference is that it never ends when you're sick without a cure.
When people tell me that I look good they are also automatically making the assumption that I must feel better. You would not believe how many times I have heard, "I'm glad you're feeling better" without having ever actually been asked about how I'm feeling. That's not fair to me.
Every day is a what feels like a losing battle, so why, then, should my appearance mean anything at all?
I have a med list longer than that of most 80 year old's, and pain that never gets below a five on the pain scale... Daily shots, countless bruises, and the churning of a feeding pump are regular parts of my life. I have to take every little action into account when planning my day... and in turn plan for the worst when hoping for the best. Nothing is guaranteed. Sure, I may feel well enough to go on that outing with friends now, but tomorrow might be a different story. This isn't a cold or the flu. No, I won't be getting over it any time soon. It's just life.
All I ask is that you look at me (and everyone else) as if my insides could be seen from the outside. Chronic illness isn't the only story that needs to be told, and it can always start with a simple, "how are you doing today?"
Thanks for reading, and have a happy day three of invisible illness awareness week.
(P.S. that title really makes me giggle!)
I know that I have been focusing a lot on not looking like I feel, but this is important to me. It really bothers me when people tell me that I look good (meaning healthy), and it makes no sense to me that I am judged by how I appear. I know that the people who are saying how good I look mean it to be a compliment, but.. it's definitely not one.
Why can't you just ask me how I feel?
If you did ask, you would know a different story from the one you have made up in your head about me. You would see how hard I have to fight just to look half way decent in the mornings or to smile and be happy at any point in time.
This cause... this awareness week. It means so much more to warriors than just a chance to make our illnesses known to the general public. It gives us a chance to share our stories. It allows for you, the general public, to see the insides turned out.. to see the war raging from within.
Think of a time in your life when you were facing some sort of conflict. Were you able to hide that issue from the next door neighbor and act as if nothing was wrong? Good. Now think of being chronically ill in the same way. The only difference is that it never ends when you're sick without a cure.
When people tell me that I look good they are also automatically making the assumption that I must feel better. You would not believe how many times I have heard, "I'm glad you're feeling better" without having ever actually been asked about how I'm feeling. That's not fair to me.
Every day is a what feels like a losing battle, so why, then, should my appearance mean anything at all?
I have a med list longer than that of most 80 year old's, and pain that never gets below a five on the pain scale... Daily shots, countless bruises, and the churning of a feeding pump are regular parts of my life. I have to take every little action into account when planning my day... and in turn plan for the worst when hoping for the best. Nothing is guaranteed. Sure, I may feel well enough to go on that outing with friends now, but tomorrow might be a different story. This isn't a cold or the flu. No, I won't be getting over it any time soon. It's just life.
All I ask is that you look at me (and everyone else) as if my insides could be seen from the outside. Chronic illness isn't the only story that needs to be told, and it can always start with a simple, "how are you doing today?"
Thanks for reading, and have a happy day three of invisible illness awareness week.
(P.S. that title really makes me giggle!)
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