Just Another Panic Attack Waiting to Happen
When I think about who I am, I know there is something different about me... beyond the fact that I'm a medical anomaly. I hurt more than I should, and I have a hard time just being myself. Don't get me wrong, I love people,
but...
I suffer from a fear of people. I know it's irrational, and I know that I am loved, but that just isn't enough. Being around people who don't understand me and know me is hard. Change is hard, and, thus, being here at school is hard. I'm always afraid that I will say or do something wrong. Social ques aren't really my strong suit, so I put on a mask to hide my insecurities. I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing that I do just that in the midst of my anxiety.
No, this isn't an easy subject to write about, but it's a necessary one. Anxiety is a real thing, and it can destroy the soul if you're not careful to address it. I have seen therapists and school counselors. I have poured my heart out to my best friend and to God...
I still struggle.
There is hope though. My God is bigger than my anxiety. I have gotten SO much better as I have transitioned into the woman I am today. There was a time when I would have broken down in tears with even the slightest change to my daily routine. I know that God has my back just as I know that my friends have my back, and it is going to be okay.
I have no doubt that people and social situations will always be uncomfortable for me, but that can't always be my main focus. If I screw up by all means pull me aside and gently correct me. I promise I won't hate you for helping make me a more pleasant person to be around. Being this way sucks, but you can help make the struggle a little bit easier if you, as my friends, help watch out for me. And if you find yourself feeling like me, please don't hesitate to come to me. I wan't to be there for you like so many have been there for me.
I want to have your back.
Social anxiety is an ugly and cruel beast. The devil likes to throw it in my face at the absolute worst time. I'm working through that though... and you can too. We can work through it together. Know that you aren't alone.
but...
I suffer from a fear of people. I know it's irrational, and I know that I am loved, but that just isn't enough. Being around people who don't understand me and know me is hard. Change is hard, and, thus, being here at school is hard. I'm always afraid that I will say or do something wrong. Social ques aren't really my strong suit, so I put on a mask to hide my insecurities. I'm so afraid of saying the wrong thing that I do just that in the midst of my anxiety.
No, this isn't an easy subject to write about, but it's a necessary one. Anxiety is a real thing, and it can destroy the soul if you're not careful to address it. I have seen therapists and school counselors. I have poured my heart out to my best friend and to God...
I still struggle.
There is hope though. My God is bigger than my anxiety. I have gotten SO much better as I have transitioned into the woman I am today. There was a time when I would have broken down in tears with even the slightest change to my daily routine. I know that God has my back just as I know that my friends have my back, and it is going to be okay.
I have no doubt that people and social situations will always be uncomfortable for me, but that can't always be my main focus. If I screw up by all means pull me aside and gently correct me. I promise I won't hate you for helping make me a more pleasant person to be around. Being this way sucks, but you can help make the struggle a little bit easier if you, as my friends, help watch out for me. And if you find yourself feeling like me, please don't hesitate to come to me. I wan't to be there for you like so many have been there for me.
I want to have your back.
Social anxiety is an ugly and cruel beast. The devil likes to throw it in my face at the absolute worst time. I'm working through that though... and you can too. We can work through it together. Know that you aren't alone.
Beautifully said by a beautiful young lady. Social anxiety is real and it is a beast. I also suffer from it. God, family, and friends are there for you. Stay strong.
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