Empathy vs. Sympathy

The dictionary definition of empathy is as follows: Identification with and understanding of anothers feelings, situation, and motives.  When I think of this in competition with sympathy, which can have several meanings, it doesn't seem right to me that there be any competition at all.

I want empathy.... No, I need empathy.  

To use the best definition for my purpose, sympathy means pity or sorrow for the distress of another. I don't know about you, but I don't like the idea of being pitied.  What I mean to say is that everyone comes to a point in their life where they need to be in contact with someone who understands the feelings and motives that go along with the situation currently underway.  

Take life with chronic illness, if only because I deal with it daily, as the perfect example of empathy being far superior to sympathy in dealing with the situation.  

When you're sick all the time, people who do not understand on a more intimate level will do one of two things.  They will either (1) tell you how to fix yourself or (2) tell you how sorry they are and how much they know it sucks, but it will get better.  Though being sick does suck, hearing that it will get better or that you're not trying hard enough to get better by someone who has never been there before is unimaginably aggravating.  And however nice sorry sounds, it doesn't make the situation any better which brings me to my main point.  

No matter what situation we may be dealing with at any given time, we need someone who can relate on that deeper level required by empathy to walk through that portion of our life with us.  

Not all of my friends understand every little thing that I deal with every day, but it is crucial that I have those that really do understand the chronic illness portion of my life.  Those are the friends that make it possible for me to have friends that understand the girl who is crazy in love with God portion of my life and vise-versa.  If I didn't have both sets of friends and an abundance of others who have various things in common with me, then I may as well have no friends at all.  I would be miserable whenever an experience causes upset in my life because I would feel I had no one who really understood  that I could talk to.  

I guess what I am getting at is that I'm thankful for all of my empathy friends.  Sympathy is nice, but empathy is better.  Thanks for reading.  

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